During my corporate career I once attended a class on “how to show up confident”. It had quite a few tips I don’t remember those exactly. But today I remembered about it when I noticed that I was feeling very confident and at ease during a networking event. In particular I was standing exactly the way it was taught in that class, standing with the feet in a V-shape and hands on the sides!
In that confidence class when the instructor taught us about the standing poses, it didn’t make too much sense. It felt awkward, not only that, my analytic mind had lots of why questions. But today I was standing in that posture without even thinking about it. I wondered what actually happened in between. Here is what I found.
When I started going to the networking events as a new coach it was very hard for me. I used to feel small as I didn’t have much to offer. Not to mention seeing some others’ highly extrovert styles discouraged me even more, I assumed that was the only way to succeed. It took me a while but eventually I figured what worked for me.
1. Being Purposeful: Not every event is my cup of tea. I look for the events where I might meet people I am interested about. Few examples:
- who could benefit from my service
- I could be partner with
- I could learn from and could connect me with people I am interested in.
- Most important- Those sharing similar values with me
2. Being Clear about My Intention: When I am introducing myself, I can clearly articulate, what I do and what I am looking for.
3. Being Unattached to Any Particular Outcome: If I am not stressed about the outcome I am more natural and confident. I am at my best and those are the occasions I make most quality connections.
4. Being Authentically Interested: I focus more to learn about other people and their needs and challenges. It helps, I divert my attention from me to something more productive.
5. Enjoying the Moment: I consider it as an opportunity for me to dress up, go out and enjoy the time. If there is food, I make good use of those. Not a whole lot could go wrong when you are having a discussion over food!
Bottom line? Rather than following some advice blindly, I found my own sweet spot. In the end I am standing the same way it was suggested in that class, but it came naturally when I was more conscious and purposeful – not the other way around.
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